Getting Your Message Across with Good Rapport

I bet you have had times when you have walked into a shop and felt immediately welcome. I’m also pretty sure that you’ve had occasions where you’ve felt just the opposite. What was the difference? What happened in the place that created that welcome feeling within you?

Maybe the assistant noticed you entering and offered you a smile and said hello. They are telling you that you are welcome in their space both physically and mentally. Compare this with a shop where you were completely ignored until you went to pay for something. What message are you getting there?

What is rapport?

Rapport is the art of being ‘in tune’ with the people around you. Good rapport will enable you to let others know that you are interested in them, that you care about what they have to say and are keen to understand them. It sends them a message that there is common ground and creates a sense of consideration, respect and trust.

Good rapport lies at the heart of your effective communication. It enables you to get people’s attention and for them to take onboard what you have to say. Good rapport comes from body language and how you say things through the tonality and rhythm of your voice. Together, body language and how you say your words make up 93% of your communication. What you say is only 7%!

Of course, when interacting with others our communication can be non-verbal using just our body language. How are you communicating right now?

I’m sure that you have experienced a situation where within a group of people one person makes a suggestion and you just know that others don’t agree - even if they remain silent. What tells you that they don’t agree and feel comfortable with the suggestion? Those of you who are in agreement will probably be sharing the same body language; they may be more animated in the discussion, and as such will be actively buying in to the idea.

Those that disagree can do so without having to say or do a thing. All they need to do is withdraw their rapport in some way; maybe though pulling back in their seat, crossing their arms, closing their book or leaving the room. Maybe, through all those things if they really wanted to make a point!

So, assuming that we have some words to say, how can we maximise our tonality and body language to ensue that we have good rapport when saying them?

How to get into rapport with people.

Matching and mirroring are the two main ways to establish rapport. People that are in rapport have a certain rhythm to their voice and body movements.

Voice Tonality and Rhythm. This is 38% of your communication. The tone of your voice and the pace that you talk affects the message that you are trying to portray. People use different tones and speeds when talking. Do your best to adjust your voice to come closer to their way of talking.

Try it yourself - say something cheerful in a sad voice and see how it comes across, then switch it around and say something sad in an upbeat voice. What message are you receiving in each case?

What about when someone is talking to you and you are distracted by something else, maybe something you see? Does your voice respond in an interested manner, and does your body language bear this out?

Body language. How you hold and use your body makes up 55% of your communication. Use your body to match people’s body movements. There will be a certain pattern and rhythm to their movements that you can copy.

It’s wise to pay attention to this even if you have good intentions for doing otherwise. You could easily be misinterpreted.

How about if that shop assistant smiles and says hello but without looking at you - does that feel the same? Maybe she was preparing next week’s stock.

What if two assistants are chatting while you are in their shop even whilst politely serving you? Does the rapport exist between them or between you and them?

What if in a work environment you ask somebody to do something for you and they agree quite nicely but you can see them tense up or see their body sink slightly lower in their chair? Are they really happy to do this for you or are speech and body telling different stories?

All together now!

The next time you communicate think about rapport a little. Is it good or not? What makes it good? How could you use your body language and voice to improve rapport?

And stick with it. It can seem odd at times whilst you practice but when it becomes second nature you’ll become a more natural communicator.

Mark Spall is a Coach and Leadership trainer and delivers his materials through a variety of innovative mediums. More on Mark can be found at http://www.markspall.co.uk . Mark is the founder of the Agile Leader Network (http://www.agile-leader.com ), a knowledge base and support network for young people who wish to achieve their best in their careers and their businesses.

Invest your child’s £250 voucher now!

Quite a number of people don’t know that newborn children are given a free voucher from the government to place in a Child Trust Fund. The child’s voucher can be invested in any one of threekinds of CTF account, Stakeholder - a shares-based account that changes into cash, a savings account or a shares account.

Scottish Friendly is an accredited provider of the Child Trust Fund. The Government is eager for people to have access to Stakeholder accounts and this is the form of account that we supply. This means that:

• Investments are paid into our Managed Growth Fund, which

intends to provide good growth potential.

• It invests in part in shares to make the most of potentially higher returns over 18 years,compared to a cash deposit account (although the value of shares can decrease as well as rise whereas capital would be protected in a deposit account).

• It comes with a low ‘Stakeholder’ funds charge of just 1.5At age 18 per year

• young person the get will completely a lump sum, current law free of Capital Gains and Income Tax under It’s.

• additional affordable - put payments can be as little as in the account from can £10

Anyone - parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends - give a maximum to the Child Trust Fund to augment of £1,200 per year to help is not allowed to

the child’s Fund (once added, this money All this means be withdrawn).provides our Stakeholder account potentially a good balance between lower high returns and a There is level of risk. additional also the complies assurance that our account However with the Government’s stakeholder criteria. doesn’t this assured mean that returns are appropriate or that Stakeholder accounts are Remember for everyone. decrease that the value of shares in the Managed Growth Fund (where your Child Trust Fund money is invested) can rise as well as whose birthday is and is not guaranteed.

Only children authorised on or after 1st September 2002 are open a to older kids Child Trust Fund. If you have allowed who are not look at you could saving aiming for them with a Child Bond - it’s a tax-free savings plan for long-term growth.

Humor for Women- What A Mom Wants For Christmas

Dear Santa,
How are you and Mrs. Claus? Please say hi to the elves for me. (Can you still call them elves or is that politically incorrect? Do you have to call them vertically challenged toymakers?)

I only want a few things for Christmas this year, Santa. Don’t worry about jewelry. I can guilt my husband into buying me some. And I can buy my own clothes. No offense, but I’m just not comfortable having you pick out clothes for me. A red jacket with white fur trim and black boots may look great on you, but they’re not really my style.

Here’s what I want for Christmas.

1)Use of a flying reindeer on Christmas day so I can visit my whole family even though they’re scattered in different states. I only want to borrow the reindeer for a day since I’m not sure that the neighbors would be too happy about having a reindeer parked in the driveway. And my town may have some ordinances against it. Also, I don’t want to have to clean up piles of reindeer poop. (I wonder, since I’ve never seen reindeer poop, does it fly too? If so, your stable elves really have my sympathy.)

2)While we’re on the subject of loaners, I’d like to borrow a few of the elves to help clean my house. I realize that they’re terribly busy before Christmas, but what do they have to do on New Year’s Eve anyway? It would be great if they could clean up after my party so I don’t have to start off the New Year welcomed by the stale smell of champagne that’s been sitting all night.

3)The next Harry Potter book before anyone else gets it. I know it’s not due for a few years but this is going to be a tough one with all the security involved so I thought you might start thinking about it now. And Santa, can you please get J.K. Rowling to make the next book shorter? I read the last one out loud to my daughter and I got a bad case of Severus Sore Throat.

4)The gift of youth. I don’t mean the slimy stuff that comes in a jar, I mean the ability to recapture a sense of child-like wonder that makes ordinary things seem special. I’d like to be able to look at a hamster and see it as a special friend instead of an annoying varmint that’s going to leave little pellet droppings all over the place and cost me lots of money for silly plastic tubes. (Of course, as part of the gift of youth, it would be nice if you could also have a few people tell me how young I look.)

5)Another year where my pre-teen daughter likes to be around me. I don’t expect that she’ll like me all the time and some tantrums are okay. I just don’t want her to make believe that I don’t exist when her friends are around.

6)But most of all, please give me the gift of forgetfulness. I don’t mean forgetting where my keys are (I can do that without any help from you); I mean forgetting other people’s little mistakes and faults. I want to focus on the positives so I can remember what a wonderful year I had. And help me to remember that my family and friends aren’t perfect. I’m certainly not, so I shouldn’t expect them to be.

I realize that you’re busy, so you don’t need to wrap anything for me. Merry Christmas!

This article comes with reprint rights providing no changes are made and the resource box below accompanies it.

Laura Browne is the author of a serious but practical & easy-to-use book for women, Why Can’t You Communicate Like Me? How Smart Women Get Results At Work, available at http://www.inyourfaceink.com. Go to this website for information on a free teleconference that will show you How To Deal With Difficult People At Work presented by Laura Browne. (The book is also available at Barnes & Noble online.)

When Laura isn’t writing, she helps women be more successful through WOMEN Unlimited, a nationally recognized resource for cultivating leadership excellence, http://www.women-unlimited.com.

(This article was originally printed in Cranberry Magazine.)

Testing And Tracking Your Business

Before you run your first ad, before you send out your first email, there are two important questions you need to answer.

1. Who is your target market?

2. What makes them buy or sign up with an organization?

The easiest and cheapest way for you to find the answer to these two questions is through testing and tracking. These methods will highlight your advertising strengths and weaknesses and allow you to maximize your marketing dollar.

Testing:

The purpose of testing is to increase the response rate to your ad or offer. For instance, you could write a sales letter and test out different headlines for the ad. Often a headline can make all the difference in your response. Many marketers have increased sales by as much as 200% simply by changing their headline. Remember, even if your ad is producing steady sales, you should always test. A small change could move your sales from steady to overflowing!

Tracking:

You should keep track of everything you do in your business. Not just your profit and expenses, but also your promotional and advertising campaigns.

Let’s say, for example, you’re running an ezine ad. What kind of information should you keep track of? The most essential are:

Where you placed the ad including the name of the ezine and date the ad was run

How many subscribers to the ezine

The cost to you

The number of responses generated by the ad - Dividing this into your cost will show you how much you paid for each response

The number of sign ups you got as a result

Contact person and email address for ezine

The URL of the ad you used. This is especially important if you promote more than one program

Any comments or notes you’d like to keep

Headline used in the ad

You could also keep track of other items, depending on how detailed you would like to be. The important thing is to study the numbers. Some ads may produce great interest but if no one buys, your profit is zero. Other ads may produce only a few click throughs but generate more sign ups. Which ad was worth the most to you? Obviously, the second one.

You will also probably use other forms of advertising, such as maybe a pay per click program, and it is just as essential that you keep track of these numbers as well. Set up a spreadsheet in Excel or keep one on paper. Every dollar you spend on marketing should be tracked so you don’t waste precious money on things that aren’t working.

Also, don’t forget, if you have a prospect and you’re not sure how they found you, ask them! You must keep track of all your leads.

Do not underestimate the power of testing and tracking! By following these techniques, you’ll know exactly where you’re making money online.

By: Anne Ahira
Editor The BEST Affiliate Newsletter
http://www.thebestaffiliate.com

Constipation - Cause, Remedy, Relief, Cure and Treatment

What is Constipation?
Constipation is a very common condition affecting many people. It tends to affect more women than men. It appears to be especially common in women just before their period or during pregnancy. It is normally not very serious although occasionally, complications can occur if the condition is not treated.

What Causes Constipation?
Constipation can be caused by a number of different factors. A number of which are described below.

The main cause is believed to be a lack of fluids in the diet. The stools then become hard and small which the body struggles to expel. A lack of fibre also has the same effect. What then happens, is that the stools which the body can’t expel are retained where they dry out even further and then work their way back up into the colon where they can cause a blockage.

Some drugs e.g. painkillers and some types of cough medicines may cause constipation. By taking medical laxatives which my relieve the symptoms in the short term may actually increase the problem as the body becomes resistant to them over time.

There are a number of other causes which include
Not being active
Too much calcium or too much iron in your diet
Drinking too much strong tea or coffee which has a diuretic effect by making you urinate more often thus dehydrating your body
Bowel muscles not being strong enough - this is more common in elderly people as their muscles in their whole body become weaker
Recent abdominal surgery - this may have the effect of weakening your bowel muscles
Anxiety
IBS can be a cause of constipation.

What are the Symptoms of Constipation?
The symptoms of constipation are as follows.
Stomach ache and cramps
Feeling bloated
Feeling sick
Change in your normal bowel pattern
Headaches
Furred tongue
Loss of appetite
Fatigue and depression

Should you experience any of these conditions and they are with you for more than a couple of days, it is important that you see a doctor. It is always better to be safe than sorry. Sometimes these symptoms could mean something much more serious.

What is the Treatment for Constipation?
Quite often, the best treatment for constipation, is simply to increase the amount of fibre in your diet. That includes lots of vegetables and cereal products. Most of us don’t eat enough of these things.

Also, increasing the amount of water that we drink can help to relief the symptoms of constipation. The vast majority of people don’t drink enough. By drinking more, you can not only relieve the symptoms of constipation, but it will improve your general health as well, making you feel better.

By taking more exercise, you can help to eradicate constipation. This can be something as simple as a 30 minute brisk walk 3 - 4 times a week.

If you are going to take laxatives, then they should only be as a temporary measure. If you find that you are having to take them for a long period of time, you should probably go and visit a doctor.

If you want to read more about this subject, then visit http://www.constipationcure.info. Also, related to this topic are http://www.piles-cure.com and http://www.bowel-irritable-syndrome.info where you will hopefully find something of interest to you.

Are You Aware of the Pitfall with Free Citezens Debt Advice?

There is substantial increases in the sheer quantity of debt advice organisations currently giving debt advice free. The majority of businesses giving cost free debt advice do so on a no obligation basis. What has yet to be determined is whether or not these organisations are giving the best overall value with reference to their service and the advice they give?

The fact is the vast majority of customers fail to properly understand the different products and services in terms of financial packages generally. If consumers had a proper understanding these customers wouldn’t need expert advice from debt professionals.

The difficulty is that debt advice companies are actually trying to produce profit. Profits are made by forwarding customers to alternative companies or by charging arrangements costs from credit companies. Because of this it is not easy to get a handle on how efficiently these companies are actually helping their customers. The biggest worry is that these debt advice businesses may be tempted to make recommendations was motivated by their own margins rather than providing the best option for their customers.

Debt advice businesses are regulated to try and make sure they are professionally qualified and conform with requirements for individual privacy. Where this fails is that it is not possible to scrutinise or prove a given companies rational when giving debt management advice. After the event, how does a government agent determine whether or not debt counselling has been offered in the best interests of the debtor or if, instead recommendations given were was motivated by the bottom line?

Finding honest citezens advice can take some time. In spite of the difficulties you would be well advised to shop around where financial advice is concerned. Consumers should not simply go with the first debt management company that they speak to.

My Cable Provider Owes Me A Date With Ming Tsai

I really like movies. I really like books. I really like television. All three of these statements are true but all three of these statements have qualifiers. What is really interesting to me is that despite being very different mediums, they all have the same qualifiers. I like movies, books and television that compel me to think about them. I like some things that I am intellectually ashamed of but I have to confess to anyway. I love really funny movies. (And since it’s just you and me here, I will tell you that it isn’t that hard for a good movie to make me cry.) Most of all what they all have in common is that in each medium there are huge chunks of work that I just can’t stand on general principle.

I have cable television with over 250 channels. When I first encountered that number of channels on sales brochures, I fantasized. I fantasized for years because I have spent the bulk of my life with fundamental 2 premises. You don’t pay to watch television and there are 6 channels to choose from in the big city.

I understand the, “I don’t own a television crowd.” I get the idea that going outside and doing stuff is better for your body than planting it on a sofa and going into a television coma. One of things people like to say about television is that it is all (insert your preferred expletive)! Honestly, that’s just snobbery. There is fantastic programming on television. It is as elusive as the yetti but it is there to be seen.

There are these fabulous series offered on history, popular culture, all manner of science and the cooking shows, oh! the cooking shows (I have a huge crush on Ming Tsai, I love a man who cooks.) What is ridiculous is with over 230 channels; at any given time I can turn the television on and say to myself that there isn’t a gall dern thing worth watching. How is this possible?

If I just focus on movies and if we just focus on “talkies”, they have been making movies since the late 1920’s. That means that they have been making movies for the past 85 years. (Warning: I am about to go nerd on you.) Let’s assume that between Canada and the United States movie production averages 140 feature films per year and for easy arguments sake we assume that is a stable average for the past 85 years. That would mean that the feature film pool from the United States and Canada alone would be 11,900 films. I know that they make movies in other parts of the world. I have proof. I saw Siddartha and Un Chien Andalou with my very own eyes.

There are only 8760 hours in a year. That means, if the average movie is 90 minutes long, one channel can only show about 5840 movies a year. If all this is true, explain to me how it is possible that at three o’clock in the morning when I need a little something from my television, the same life-draining, mind numbing, stupid movies are always on?

In short, (I know it’s a little late for that) since we are directly paying for television now, can’t we all rise up as one and make them put something good on at 3am. I don’t know what you pay for cable but for what I pay, my television should do dinner theatre on demand, offer me a nightcap, tuck me in and tell me a story about Ming Tsai.

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It Is Well with My Soul

His name was Horatio Gates Spafford. He was born on October 22, 1828, in Troy, New York. Mr. Spafford became a successful lawyer and real estate investor in Chicago. Yet, he lost much of his real estate fortune in the great Chicago fire in October 1871. He spent the next two years serving those who had suffered in the fire.

After serving his fellow countrymen, Mr. Spafford decided to take a vacation to Europe with his wife Anna and their four daughters. Business delayed him so he took his family to New York and boarded them on a luxurious French ocean liner, the S.S. Ville du Havre. Mr. Spafford planned to meet them later in Europe.

However, their ship never made it. At 2:00 a.m. on November 22, 1873, it collided with an English iron sailing vessel, the Lochearn. The Ville du Havre sank in only 12 minutes. It was the greatest disaster at sea until the sinking of the Titanic. His wife Anna survived by clinging to a piece of the floating wreckage, but his four daughters were among the 226 people who perished. Anna sent her husband a telegram that said “saved alone.”

Several weeks later on his way to join his grieving wife, Mr. Spafford’s ship passed the spot where his four daughters had sunk to the depths of the sea. The loss of his real estate fortune paled in comparison to the sudden and unexpected loss of his four daughters.

Yet, in spite of all his grief, Mr. Spafford was inspired to pen the words to that famous hymn “It Is Well with My Soul.” Can you imagine the tremendous grief that he must have felt? Yet, his faith helped him to endure his trials and find inner peace.

By having faith in God and focusing on serving the needs of others, we too can find peace in spite of our trials and difficulties. Regardless of our circumstances, we can then say with conviction, “it is well with my soul.”

Alan D. Campbell lives in Brandon, Florida. For more good news, please see his blog The Good News of the Kingdom of God at http://goodnewsofthekingdomofgod.blogspot.com

A Brief Time Out

A brief timeout

Ever have the need to simply get off life’s merry go round and simply just watch for awhile? No participation, no accountability, just be the invisible specter wandering in and out of other lives and circumstances as only a passive observer. I was at the zoo a few weekends ago with my three year old daughter and wife. We had spent a few quality hours watching all of the animals and taking delight in Christie’s reactions to the various sights and sounds around her.

Mrs. Esper took the munchkin on a small carnival ride and I just sat by a large bird cage. It had a twenty foot rock ledge complete with flowing waterfall and three pools all at different levels. There were shelters for the various birds and plenty of food. I sat there and stared at this one bird for almost a solid minute, trying to imagine what it would be like to just simply watch everybody at the zoo from the inside. No worries, no strife and no real problems. If I were that bird I’d just have a few seeds, float around a bit and simply stare back at the weird things peeking back at me. The bird, like all the other creatures at the zoo, had been taken out of the game. Their life, their instinct for survival, was mute at this point. My mind wandered back to the pair of tigers sleeping in their habitat. Were they happy? If one could actually assign that human emotion to an animal. Animals can feel stress, fear and anger on an instinctive level; but could an animal actually be happy. Were these animals happy taken out of the day to day struggle for survival to simply be pampered and cared for for the rest of their lives. For a hard working human, battered by the day to day barrages and obstacles of life, this would seem like a paradise.

Imagine a life where everything is provided for you, no work, no struggle and no worries, just lounging poolside while a bunch of other people walk by and look at you. Who’s the fool? Is it the man in the cage or the man toiling outside the cage? Who’s imprisoned? The man behind the material bars or the man chained to the daily inescapable struggle of survival in a society of moral decay and imperfect social platitude. It’s a difficult question with pluses and minuses on both sides. On the one side of the equation, your basic needs are provided for and there is no real struggle. Life is bereft of pitfalls but also void of opportunity. You have no responsibility to toil, yet your freedom is curtailed by the steel cage in which you call home. You are out of the game.

The guy looking in on you, like a wild animal in the jungle or on the open plain, is struggling day to day to survive and feed his family and /or just himself. There are countless frustrating occurrences and unforeseen events at every turn. Each day could be a nightmare of misfortunes, simply mundane or altogether orgasmic in nature. The man outside the cage has no real control over life; he’s simply one piece, a pawn, on a gigantic chessboard. He has no guarantee of security or stability as he makes his way through each and every day. In his world there is no real security or safety. But, his world is open to travel, and motion. He can move from place to place to seek out new opportunity, the bars that hold him are metaphoric in nature not solid in composition. Every day is a lesson in survival and some days are better than others. There are many that don’t make it and, like a captured chess piece, are taken out of the game. Those are the stakes, life and death, the struggle to survive.

Which is better, the gilded cage or the dangerous freedom? That is a question best answered by each individual.

For me, I only want a brief time out from the struggle, just a few days to relax and get my wits back. There are times when the view from the inside of the cage is appealing, but the loss of motion, my freedom, is too great a price for the security. But that’s just me, one individual.

WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

About the Author

Science Fiction writer, blogger and wannabe columnist. http://www.xanga.com/Esper_Warrior is the quick link to read some more detailed rants and raves. I am the average middle class working guy just trying to make ends meet like everyone else. I hope you gain something from reading my words.
Thanks for taking the time to read what I’ve written, I hope you found it worth your while

Holy, Holy, Holy! (Holy?)

Holy Cow! Can we just go back to basics now?

What does holy mean?

To be holy means to be perfect or nearly perfect, right? It means piety, righteousness, uprightness. It means not sinning.

Actually, that is not accurate.

To be holy means to be separate!

Separate from what?

Let’s consider a soldier and a boxer for a moment. They are trained to be good at their field by adhering to a rigorous set of discipline. A soldier doesn’t behave like an ordinary citizen. His hair is kept short that when battle comes, he will not bother combing his hair before taking up his gun. In the same light, a boxer is physically trained for fights and doesn’t smoke cigarettes or take intoxicating drinks.

Why? In his pursuit of excellence, he needs to separate from the pack.

Achievers are disciplined people. It makes more sense now why there are a lot more losers than winners, eh?

Let’s take another example. Consider your drinking glass, will you use it to hold thinner for cleaning your paint brush? Of course not! You want it to be absolutely clean. Why? You don’t want contamination.

To be holy means to be separate from the common group of people that you may be used effectively of God.

Think again, would you like to live your life like everybody else barely making any difference at all?

In objection a friend of mine said, “If you’ll be so holy all of the time, then, you will be a loner — no one will be hanging out with you. You can’t go out with the guys at the local Saturday Night hangout. You’ll be real lonely, man?”

Please allow me to be serious on this for a moment.

The bible says that God will give you the desires of your heart. Don’t pick the common interpretation here. What this means is that God will cleanse your heart of its sinful desires, put new desires, and will make you to desire to do His will.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he shall give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 - ESV)

What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 6:7 - NLT)

Man, I really want you to take a fresh look on these things and don’t let your preconceived philosophy go in the way again.

Raymond S. Usbal is a Filipino Christian writer who wants to inspire others by sharing tidbits of wisdom and humor for practical living. He is, at the same time, a PHP/MySQL programmer. Be inspired more by visiting inspirational-pages.com!