Why Friends Sabotage Your Diets

Dealing with the Food Pushers, or How to Say No When You Don’t
Any

A friend’s doctor said he should lose 10 pounds and so he is
trying to break his sugar habit. He generally eats well during
the day but his downfall is cookies while watching TV. At an
office luncheon when dessert was being served, he said, “No
thanks, I don’t want any.” A well meaning co-worker then foisted
dessert on him, shoving it in front of him and saying, “You’re
doctor is wrong, have some,” leaving him staring at the dessert
then back to us with a sorrowful look on his face.

Your Friend Is Trying to Make You Happy

His co-worker probably was not out to sabotage him, but more
likely was remembering the last time she said no when she really
wanted to say yes. She wished someone would have made the
decision for her, albeit against her wishes, and then she could
have eaten the dessert because it wouldn’t be polite to refuse
(or some other excuse), so now she’s doing him the favor. She is
wrong, but that’s the way people generally are. We all
understand the pain of deprivation and want to make it better
for each other.

Devise a Plan for Dealing with Sabotaging Food Pushers

First, if you do want some dessert, have some, enjoy it and move
on with your life. It is not a big deal to have a dessert, even
if you’re already over full. It’s one eating event out of
thousands. But when you are being pushed into something you
don’t want it’s no different than being offered drinks when
you’re underage; peer pressure doesn’t stop because you graduate
from high school.

You Don’t Have to Explain: Just Say No

If you’re making an effort to make better choices, choosing to
eat only foods that really appeal to you, and learning to say no
when you just don’t want any, you can tell the food pusher, “No,
thanks,” and leave it at that. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation. You could also take a plate and let it sit there.
Most people are so preoccupied with themselves they won’t notice
whether you’re eating. If someone does ask, “Aren’t you going to
eat your cake,” you could say, “In a minute.” Keep busy talking
and just delay until it’s time to go, then discretely set the
plate aside.

If you watch the thinner folks at parties you’ll notice they
talk a lot and eat little. It’s difficult to talk and gesture
while holding a drink in one hand and a plate of food in the
other.

If the food seems to be calling your name and it’s becoming more
difficult to resist since it’s sitting in front of you then
simply pretend it is made of plastic, like the display food in a
Chinese restaurant. It’s not meant to be eaten, just admired.
Then admire it all you like.

Why do we need to resort to trickery to make our own food
choices? Because food pushers are not going to accept your
arguments, no matter how well you state your case, so don’t
bother fighting a losing battle. You can’t change their mind;
they want to eat some and they’d feel better if you ate some
too. You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself.

Remember the next time you feel the urge to push food on
someone, food means love in our society, but choice means more.
Offer it, and then let it go if they say no.

Holland - The Keukenhof Gardens

Holland is the land of tulips. When it comes to seeing tulips, no place in the world outdoes the Keukenhof Gardens.

Keukenhof Gardens

The Keukenhof Gardens are located to the southwest of Amsterdam. I know this because I was visiting Amsterdam with an old friend and his wife. He and I had talked about taking the tour at the Heineken Brewery for days. Unfortunately, we only had two days in Amsterdam and had missed the tour on the first day. This was due to his wife having wet hair because of a blow drier, which meant we had to sit around until nature ran its course. This was not a woman willing to rough it.

I arose on the second morning with visions of beer mugs in my mind. I knew that I was in trouble as soon as he walked through the door. He had that look. You know. The one that says I have bad news, but am going to try to make it sound like good news. The powers that be wanted to go to the word famous Keukenhof Gardens.

This was disappointing for two reasons. First, I had never heard of the “famous” Kuekenhof Gardens, thus bringing into doubt the claim in my mind. Second, the weighing of the scales of justice were producing results decidedly in favor of a location that encompassed the word “beer” versus one that highlighted “gardens.” For the love of God, we were in Amsterdam!

An argument ensued and, of course, I lost. Off we went for a day in the gardens. Oh, fun.

As happens more often than not, I was wrong in my assumptions. In a one in a million occurrence, “gardens” definitely outweighed the “beer” option. The Keukenhof Gardens definitely deserve the fame moniker, even if you’ve never heard of them.

Keukenhof is perhaps the biggest collection of flowers I have ever seen. Located on 70 acres outside of the town of Lisse, the gardens are surreal. There are over 7 MILLION flowers on the grounds with Tulips in full display. The location was previously the home of a castle and accompanying lands, which gives you an idea of the layout. Essentially, you pay $20 to enter and just start strolling. It is like standing in the middle of a landscape painting. The place is so big, you can rent bikes to put around the grounds. To this end, the best time to go is in April when everything is in bloom.

Against all my inherent male attributes, I have to admit visiting the gardens outdid anything the Heineken Brewery could offer. I also felt a heck of a lot better the next morning!

Rick Chapo is with NomadJournals.com - makers of travel journals. Visit NomadJournalTrips.com to read more articles on travel in Holland and Adventure Travel.

The Sales Training Series: The Right Way To Sell

How Will This Buying Decision Be Made?

Three-quarters of the secret to professional, strategic selling boils down to asking the Best Questions and listening carefully to the answers. Most of the Best Questions have to do with uncovering the crucial, underlying needs your products or services might serve. But you also must know how to sell to a particular account. Using the same strategy for all customers is a big mistake. The issue is: how do you compete for this customer’s business?

How do you know the right way to sell a customer? You ask.

For instance, you need to know when to time your sales calls, who to call on, what to present to each individual or group who will influence the buying decision, and how the decision ultimately will be made. How do you learn all of this? You learn these answers by asking questions early in the game.

Competition: Whom are you competing against for this sale? Once you know, you can ask targeted questions to draw out specific needs that you can resolve but your competitors can’t. And when presenting features and benefits of your products, you can lead with your specific competitive strengths.

Time Frame: When does the customer expect to make a buying decision? More importantly, when does the customer want to begin to reap the benefits expected from the purchase?

Buying Influences: Who controls the budget? Who analyzes the technical aspects of your product? Who will be responsible for making your product work correctly in the organization? This information tells you which features and benefits to stress to which audience.

Buying Process: How will the buying decision actually be made? Who must be “sold” before the transaction can be completed? Which criteria will be most important in the decision?

By getting clear answers to these questions early in the process, you can develop a strategy that will shorten your sell cycle, allow you to anticipate and defuse objections that otherwise would arise later, and make a lot more sales.

In The Field:

Veteran salespeople are often astonished (and a bit embarrassed) by the brave new world that opens up to them after they learn to ask the Best Questions.

The day after an Action Selling Sales Training Workshop at Eaton Cutler-Hammer, the southern regional sales manager received an excited voicemail message from one of his account executives.

“I put one of the selling techniques of Action Selling to work today on a sales call and was amazed,” said the account exec. “By knowing how to ask the Best Questions, I uncovered additional opportunities that I never knew existed!”

Duane Sparks is chairman and founder of The Sales Board, a Minneapolis-based sales training company that has trained and certified more than 200,000 salespeople in the system and skills of Action Selling. He has personally facilitated more than 300 Action Selling training sessions.

In a 30-year career as a salesperson and sales manager, Duane has sold products ranging from office equipment to insurance. He was the top salesperson at every company he ever worked for. He developed Action Selling Sales Training while owner of one of the largest computer marketers in the United States. Even in the roaring computer business of the 1980’s, his company grew six times faster than the industry norm, differentiating itself not by the products offered but by the way it sold them. Duane founded The Sales Board in 1990 to teach the skills of Action Selling to others.

Contact The Sales Board for more sales information or sales training that’s been documented and research-proven to help you sell more! 1-800-232-3485

Understanding Affiliate Programs: The Basics

Years ago before the internet was born, starting your own business was like taking a leap into the unknown. It involved MONEY, TIME, and lots of worry. If you were one of the lucky ones your business was a success, but many were doomed to failure.

Now the Internet has evolved, and though many businesses fail possibly through lack of understanding! no one loses a fortune.

When someone begins the search for a business on which to make money, it is almost always an affiliate program that catches their eye, probably because most of them say Free To Join.
Yes they are free to join, but if you are looking to work and make money it is almost certain that you will have to upgrade and pay a monthly fee.

Understanding the program. Any good affiliate programs will have a learning process and you will be told to read and read again until you understand what is required of you. You should also have a mentor, that is someone that is there to help you. He or she will reply to you by email or by messenger, they will help you through any problems to the best of their ability as your success means success for them.

The main task of most affiliate programs is to refer others who will sign up and create your down line. Only those that upgrade will be of use to you. Once you begin to receive commission your monthly payment should be taken out automatically thus leaving you free to build up on your commissions.

How to refer others to your program ! This is where many affiliates fail, the ability to refer is not always easy. If you can build your own website and work to get it on the searches it is a great help as this is almost free advertising. Another way is to traverse other websites and place your ads for the program on them.

There are many free ad sites which you will find by placing Free Ad Sites in the search box. Always use a different email box for this project as you are sure to get lots of spam emails back, you do not want to fill your usual inbox with spam.

Another way to refer is by using PPC, (pay per click) this can work out expensive but it does work, you will need a certain amount of paid sign ups to cover costs. Google is the most expensive but you can find many cheaper search engines out there, Overture is good and less expensive.

Once you start getting paid signups you yourself will have to learn to be a mentor as they are almost certain to require help of some kind. Do your home work and read up on your program in between your other jobs, it is surprising how quickly you learn and find yourself able to answer their questions confidently.

You should now be on the road to earning an adequate income, you must give your self at least 12 months before expecting high earnings, it is a slow road but a steady one, usually with residual income that does come in very handy in your retirement.

Author Sylvia White
Owner of http://www.sylviawh.co.uk

http://www.u-want-money.com

http://www.geocities.com/sylviaworkathome

Make Money Online Opportunity Websites.

Should You Wear Cropped Pants?

“I watched a fashion show last night,” a reader wrote me
recently. “They said you should never wear Capris. I am 5′ 7″,
long legs, slim size 8. I understand that they might not be
flattering to everyone, but what about for me? I just ordered a
pair online. Tell me, what do you think?”

I think it’s an interesting question. For while low-rise pants
tend to flatter very few women, cropped pants can work well on a
variety of figures, provided they follow a few simple
guidelines.

Before we get to them, however, let me define exactly the style
I’m referring to, so that we’re all on the same page.

Cropped pants, also known as pedal pushers, clam diggers, and
Capris, are a style of pants that ends somewhere between the
knee and the ankle, usually at mid-calf. They’ve gone in and out
of fashion several times since the 1950’s, and are currently
enjoying renewed popularity.

They are not for everyone, however.

Because of where they hit on the leg, they can emphasize several
things. For example:

*If you’re petite, they can make you look shorter.

*If you’re bottom heavy, they can make you look heavier.

*If you have short legs, they can make them look shorter.

*If you have thick ankles, they can make them look thicker.

Notice that I said, “can” in every situation. This isn’t a
given. Much of it can depend on the color, cut, style of hem,
and shoes that you choose.

Let’s look at these one by one:

COLOR

Dark or muted colors will make you look smaller, light or bright
colors will make you look bigger. Small prints work better on
small bodies, large prints work better on large or tall bodies.

CUT

The most flattering cut for trim bodies of all heights tends to
be flat front with tapered legs. This style elongates the body
and offers a chic, uncluttered line - which is why it was
favored by the likes of Jacqueline Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn
during their summer vacations, and promptly copied the world
over.

The least flattering cut tends to be the drawstring look with
straight or flared hem. While many women choose this style for
comfort, it creates a rectangular block of fabric from waist to
hem, visually adding pounds and subtracting height. If you are
petite, heavy, or have thick ankles, this style will magnify all
of these things.

STYLE OF HEM

The most flattering hem for most women is plain and tapered. The
least flattering is flared with a cuff. The former will
elongate, the latter will shorten and widen.

If you’re a bit heavy and feel that a tapered hem makes your
hips or upper thighs look bigger, try a straight leg style
instead. Do NOT opt for a flared hem to try to offset your hips
- unless you want to look the same size from hips to hem.

SHOES

For years, the ballerina flat was the shoe of choice to wear
with cropped pants. In recent years, high heels, sandals,
slides, and flip-flops have found their way on to the team as
well.

Your best shoe choices create an unbroken line from hem to toe
with minimal material that compliments — rather than competes
with - your pants. Shoes that are the same color as pants,
white, or flesh-colored are all good choices.

Avoid chunky, heavy shoes, or shoes that compete with your hem.
All of these will call attention to your feet, chop you up
visually, and make you look shorter.

Cropped pants are a great warm weather alternative to shorts for
those chilly nights, dressy casual occasions, or for women who
just hate to bare their legs in shorts. They look great on women
of many heights, sizes, and ages, provided they’re chosen with
care.

If you look for styles that flatter your figure and elongate
your body, you’ll look great AND stylish. So don’t necessarily
cross these off your list. Just take a little time to find the
looks that work best for you.

Ways To Resolve A Credit Report Dispute

Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act the reporting company and
the information provider are responsible for correcting any
credit report disputes. However, they must first be made aware
that you have credit report disputes. A person can report and
correct errors in their credit report by following two easy
steps.

Step one is to report your error to the consumer reporting
company in writing and make them aware that you have a credit
report dispute. Make sure you include all your personal
information like your name, address, and a list of each credit
report dispute that have. Remember to send your letter by
certified mail to prove that you have initiated a credit report
dispute. The consumer reporting company will then investigate
your credit report disputes and respond in 30 days. If they find
there is an error and the credit report dispute can be resolved
by correcting it then they will forward the information to the
other credit bureaus and your credit report will be revised.

After reviewing your credit report dispute the consumer
reporting company may decide that they disagree with the items
raised in your credit report dispute and decline to pursue the
matter any further. They will send you all of the evidence that
they have and the reasons for not pursuing your credit report
dispute, along with a copy of your credit report.

Another way to handle a credit report dispute is to contact the
particular creditor directly. Again, send the creditor a list of
your credit report disputes in writing. Be sure to call your
creditor and ask for the specific address of where credit report
dispute issues need to be sent to ensure that there is no
unnecessary delay in the credit report dispute being
investigated. Many companies have a separate address for
handling credit report disputes and it can take time for it to
be forwarded to the correct address if you do not send it there
initially. If you are correct in your credit report dispute and
there is an error they will report the error to the credit
bureaus and send you notification of the change.

Below is a sample credit report dispute letter :

Date Your Name Your Address, City, State, Zip Code Complaint
Department

Name of Company Address City, State, Zip Code

Dear Sir or Madam: I am writing to dispute the following
information in my file. I have circled the items I dispute on
the attached copy of the report I received.

This item (identify item(s) disputed by name of source, such as
creditors or tax court, and identify type of item, such as
credit account, judgment, etc.) is (inaccurate or incomplete)
because (describe what is inaccurate or incomplete and why). I
am requesting that the item be removed (or request another
specific change) to correct the information.

Enclosed are copies of (use this sentence if applicable and
describe any enclosed documentation, such as payment records,
court documents) supporting my position. Please reinvestigate
this (these) matter(s) and (delete or correct) the disputed
item(s) as soon as possible.

Sincerely, Your name

Enclosures: (List what you are enclosing.)

About Liquid Vitamins and Minerals and the New Nutritional Paradigm

Liquid vitamins are the same vitamins that you find in any supermarket or health store, but are suspended in a liquid mixture. This new method of taking liquid nutritional supplements is becoming extraordinarily popular in today’s progressive healthcare marketplace. The average consumer wants the most for their money and is becoming more knowledgeable about products or services that offer the most benefit. It is no wonder more people are adding liquid vitamins and minerals to their daily supplementation.

People are discovering that liquid vitamins and nutritional supplements are much easier to take and ingest than the traditional pill form. If you’ve ever taken lots of vitamin supplements or medications you might know how uncomfortable it can be to swallow and digest a handful of “horse pills”. Researchers are also discovering that liquid vitamins may be more effective than swallowing pills. The liquid vitamin and mineral form doesn’t need to be broken down by our digestive system and is much more readily absorbed by our bodies.
Supplementing your body with liquid minerals and vitamin nutrients can help create the optimal environment in the body for maximal life expectancy by replenishing nutritional deficiencies. There are some Eastern cultures that have people routinely living to ages in the range of 120 to 140 years old (ex: the Hunzas). The common link that these amazing cultures share to make these astounding life-spans possible is the daily ingestion of, and farmland cultivation with “glacial milk”. This “glacial milk” is ordinary water that is naturally combined with high amounts of essential and rare minerals and other nutrients.

There’s no doubt that liquid vitamins are growing in popularity as more people discover them. More and more liquid vitamin products are hitting the health market as consumers are changing the way they want to take their nutritional supplements.

Judy Brown is a director of http://www.lifenatural.com, http://www.lifenatural.com/liquidvitamins.htm and http://www.corticel.com which all have a focus on liquid vitamins, weight loss and natural health issues.

Home Equity Loan Tips - Useful Finance Advice

If you own your home it is likely to be your greatest single asset. Before putting that valuable asset on the line in exchange for a loan, think carefully and do your research on where the loan is coming from, and at what cost. By agreeing to a loan that’s based on the equity you have in your home, you may be putting your most valuable asset at risk. “If you are depending on a home equity loan that is suddenly taken away, it could cause you to lose your home,” said Cindy Marcus, RE/MAX Santa Barbara, CA.

A third or less of home-equity borrowing is used for anything that could be considered an investment, such as home improvements or education. The rest goes for debt consolidation, vacations or purchases of assets that quickly depreciate, such as cars. According to Eric Tyson, a personal finance counselor and author of several real estate “Dummies” guides, urges homeowners to keep in mind that their home equity should not be thought of as collateral for frivolous expenditures.

If you’re thinking of literally betting your house with a home-equity loan or line of credit, you should clearly understand how these loans work, when to use them and how to get the best deals.

There are two types of home equity lending- 1) loans and 2) lines of credit. By definition, a home equity loan is a type of loan in which the borrower uses the equity in his home as collateral.

1) Closed-end home equity loans, where the borrower receives a lump sum at the time of the closing and cannot borrow further. The maximum amount of money that can be borrowed is determined by various variables, including credit history, income, and the appraised value of the collateral, among others. It is common to be able to borrow up to 100% of the appraised value of the home, less any liens, although there are lenders that will go above 100% when doing over-equity loans.

2) An open-end home equity loan or line of credit (HELOC) is more like a credit card, meaning that it is a revolving credit loan where the borrower can choose when and how often to borrow against the equity in the property. Like the closed end loan, it may be possible to borrow up to 100% of the value of a home, less any liens. These lines of credit are available up to 30 years and have variable interest rates that are typically tied to the prime rate, which is currently at 8.00. The minimum monthly payment can be as low as only the interest that is due. Unlike credit cards, however, home-equity lines of credit usually aren’t indefinite. For the first 10 years or so, you can draw as much as you want from your credit limit, and you only need to pay the interest charges. In the next stage, however, the “draw” period ends and whatever debt you have left is “amortized,” which means you need to start paying principal and interest to retire your debt.

It is very important to know which kind of loan to use and when. A home-equity loan is generally the best choice when you know exactly how much your purchase is likely to cost and you need several years to pay it off. You also might consider a loan, rather than a line of credit, when you want to lock in a low interest rate in a rising-rate environment.

A line of credit may be a better option for shorter-term borrowing, or when you want to be able to tap your home equity to cover emergencies.

In the end, however, consider the risk you are taking by putting your home on the line. You should try to keep a cushion of at least 20% equity in your home. If your combined mortgage and home-equity borrowing exceeds that amount, you’ll pay higher interest rates. You’re also cutting yourself off from an important source of funds in an emergency.

Laura is an experienced free-lance writer who focuses on home equity and debt consolidation loans. You can read more mortgage refinance articles at http://www.nationwidemortgages.net/ You can get more information about home equity loans and mortgage refinancing at http://www.nationwidemortgages.net/home_equity_loans.html

Cayin Technology Showcases Innovative Linux-based Digital Signage Solutions at ISE 2006

Taipei, January 24, 2006 - In response to the growing demand for
innovative Digital Signage products on the European markets,
Cayin Technology is going to demonstrate at the exhibition ISE
2006 in Belgium from the 1st to the 3rd, the newest series of
networked Digital Signage solutions (Hall 5, Booth F294): new
product introduction, interactive applications, and web based
solutions. Come and visit Cayin at our both and be astonished by
the powerful Linux-based technology.

Integrated Systems Europe 2006, also shorten as ISE 2006 is the
leading pan-European show on Audio Visual (AV) systems
integration industry including home, professional and commercial
markets. Many products relating to AV displays are going to be
presented. ISE is said as the place to get the latest news and
see the latest innovations in the AV world, including Digital
Signage.

Digital signage, also known as narrowcasting or electronic
billboards, is a network of signs that use digital displays to
communicate with target audiences in designate locations by
high-quality video, audio, animation, graphics, and texts.
Replacing and enhancing traditional signs, digital signage
offers a multimedia communication platform to promote, inform,
educate, and entertain specific audiences in a variety of
out-of-home occasions.

As an innovator in the Digital Signage market, Cayin is going to
demonstrate two main Linux-based products: SMP-WEB and a preview
of the next product release SMP-PRO2. We will showcase all
powerful and multimedia presentations in larger screen displays,
including traditional landscape, portrait, and interactive
applications in digital signage.

SMP-PRO2 is a skin-based display engine. It means it uses fixed
template (picture) as the display background (Skin). Using a
simple software tool that Cayin offers, you can easily draw up
to five dedicated areas on the skin; one area for stored/lived
video playback or pictures slide show, one area for scrolling
text, two areas for picture slides show and one area which is
actually the background. For each area, the size and the
location can of course be chosen for customized presentation.
SMP-PRO2 supports most popular codec and file formats, such as
MPEG 1/2, AVI, WMV, WMA, MP3, JPG, GIF, etc.

SMP-WEB is a web-based networked digital signage system. All
multimedia contents are displayed in full-screen webpage, so
designers can utilize their own familiar web-editing tools and
unleash their creativities. This system supports most popular
web languages, such as HTML, JavaScript, Macromedia Flash,
DHTML, CSS, etc., and most popular audio/video codec and image
file formats, such as MPEG 1/2, AVI, WMV, MP3, JPG, GIF, etc. In
addition to video, images, animation, and text, SMP-WEB can
easily extend to provide interactive services incorporating with
external devices such as touch screen, keyboard, keypad, or
mouse.

Both SMP-WEB and SMP-PRO2 are scalable and can be deployed
either as a networked standalone solution or under a networked
server-client structure, incorporated with Cayin’s CMS Server.
With CMS server, administrators can remotely manage the contents
and system settings of all SMP clients. A CMS server can
administrate 60 clients at the same time (advised - bandwidth
issue), and broadcast right messages to be displayed at right
time and right places.

Cayin especially provides a useful web-based user interface for
easy remote control. Administrators can centrally manage all SMP
players located at different sites with automatic content
updates, scheduling playlists, players group management,
real-time broadcast (streaming video) capabilities and can
reboot each player remotely if necessary.

At ISE 2006, Cayin Technology is going to introduce the
powerful, advanced features and versatile applications in
digital signage. If you are interested, we invite you to come to
visit us (Hall 5, Booth F294). You will have the opportunity to
see all the possibilities related to the booming out-of-home
marketing and broadcasting platform.

For more information on the dynamic digital signage, please
visit the Cayin website at
http://www.cayintech.com/solution_signage.html

For more press information and press pictures please download at
http://www.cayintech.com/press.html

Cayin Technology in Brief Cayin Technology is established by a
group of professionals specializing in development, researches,
and engineering. Cayin devotes itself to providing complete
solutions in multimedia, network, and embedded fields,
integrating computers and home appliances in various commercial
applications, such as dynamic digital signage, video-on-demand
systems in transportation, education, and hospitality. In
addition to standard products, Cayin also provides tailored
software services to meet customers’ requirements for almost
limitless applications. Our mission is to continue to innovate
and concentrate on providing our customers with foresighted new
solutions.

More about Cayin Technology at http://www.cayintech.com

Cayin Technology Co., Ltd. 8F-2, No.577, Linsen N. Road, Taipei
104, Taiwan, R.O.C. TEL: +886-2-2595 1005 FAX: +886-2-2595 1050
E-Mail: press@cayintech.com

Bullies Zapped in the First Quarter

Bullies in the Bully Zapper Mentor Program at our school are happy to be zapped by the end of the first quarter. They have not received any office referrals and they have passing grades - maybe for the first time in their school career. Many of their victims are happy too that they have had a quiet quarter where they could focus on their schoolwork and be a kid instead of defending themselves against the bullies.

Two eighth grade girls are just a few of our super success stories. Both have excellent mentors. One of the girls has had the same mentor for 2 years and the other, actually the bigger bully, has only been in the program for 9 weeks!

“Susie” came from a family of bullies and was headed in the same direction with numerous office referrals, failing grades and a definite reputation as a school bully. “Janie” was feared by many students and got very close to several physical fights. She left our school for a quarter in 7th grade and then returned. Believe me, everyone knew she was back!

Susie began working with a mentor in 7th grade and gradually she began to change her goals. I realized that this year as a school counselor I stopped hearing their names every day. And as middle school students are so famous for, some of the current bullies tried to engage them in fights by spreading rumors about them. They would not engage with them. When they got wind of these rumors, they told their mentors or the counselors, and listened to the advice of their mentors.

You know how hard rumors are for middle school students to resist. But after much talking to them by their mentors, the pull for the positive became stronger. They were able to ignore the rumors and as rumors are, if they are not fed they die. And these did.

We are continuing to reinforce the positive with these 2 by giving them leadership roles. They lead our class meetings in grades 6, 7, and 8. And, they are being featured in a bulletin board for students who are now making good choices.

Paula McCoach has been in public education for 23 years. She has been a school counselor for the past 10 in an alternative school and an elementary/middle school in Maryland. She has spearheaded mentor programs, Character Education initiatives, & Bully awareness. For more information, send an email to coach@bullyzapper.com
or visit http://www.bullyzapper.com

©2004 Permission granted to reprint this article in print or on your web site so long as the paragraph above is included and contact information is provided to the email.